youre lurking in front of me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Who died my cat blue again?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
