What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
