Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
