I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
