just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
