it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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