Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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