Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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