3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
