I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize