its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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