Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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