I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
