Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize