I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
