Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
