You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
