so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
