The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
