Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
