so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
