We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just threw up on my dentist
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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