When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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