so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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