I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so that wasnt chicken after all
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
