THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
