you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We had to coat check the pizza.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
