What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
