i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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