Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
