I want you more than these girls want KFC
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize