wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
