I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Vodka?
Forever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
