the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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