Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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