So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
