actually, I'm a sock model
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
birth control should be required to get into college
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
