He told me they were just razor bumps!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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