Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
