Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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