ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i was born a porn star she said
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
