My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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