I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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