omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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