glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
