he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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