woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
