You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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