last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
