Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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