yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
