Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore

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  (443): Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore http://tfl.nu/frxj
  Replies (9) Good night (3002) Bad night (658)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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  (201): It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name. http://tfl.nu/d1cf
  Replies (12) Good night (1277) Bad night (4593)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

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  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (18246) Bad night (2775)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?

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  (616): Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by? http://tfl.nu/1ke1
  Replies (28) Good night (1722) Bad night (7888)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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  (631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5
  Replies (9) Good night (2723) Bad night (914)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.

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  (402): I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really. http://tfl.nu/wq20
  Replies (13) Good night (1400) Bad night (815)
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  (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

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  (408): You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it. http://tfl.nu/jmvc
  Replies (6) Good night (1267) Bad night (805)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (740) Bad night (3657)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

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  (214): She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water. http://tfl.nu/39g2
  Replies (11) Good night (771) Bad night (1864)
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  (950): View more from

  The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.

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  (950): The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching. http://tfl.nu/hw3q
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (1034)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up

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  (785): i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up http://tfl.nu/9i7j
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (329)
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  (714): View more from California

  Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.

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  (714): Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying. http://tfl.nu/nfjo
  Replies (4) Good night (681) Bad night (385)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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  (614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (613)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.

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  (508): Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming. http://tfl.nu/osws
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.

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  (512): This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE. http://tfl.nu/0zgc
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (199)

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