i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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