I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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