need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions