Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear

(952): View more from Minnesota

gross she's a slut

(612): View more from Minnesota

yea she doesn't shave either

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(612): dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear (952): gross she's a slut (612): yea she doesn't shave either http://tfl.nu/93ck

Replies (31) Good night (957) Bad night (4141)
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(705): View more from Ontario

"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.

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(705): "The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub. http://tfl.nu/ge4i

Replies (22) Good night (3811) Bad night (680)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.

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(780): The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day. http://tfl.nu/xftd

Replies (20) Good night (5382) Bad night (1347)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him

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(703): Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him http://tfl.nu/ek6e

Replies (9) Good night (5753) Bad night (1294)
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(305): View more from Florida

Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

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(305): Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after. http://tfl.nu/e8fo

Replies (9) Good night (1049) Bad night (2339)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.

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(412): Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything. http://tfl.nu/9u4l

Replies (4) Good night (2801) Bad night (1044)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.

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(902): He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them. http://tfl.nu/vfjc

Replies (16) Good night (3624) Bad night (870)
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(360): View more from Washington

Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

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(360): Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof. http://tfl.nu/kt4t

Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (1945)
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(415): View more from California

I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.

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(415): I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history. http://tfl.nu/x6ei

Replies (13) Good night (865) Bad night (1716)
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(970): View more from Colorado

there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.

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(970): there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night. http://tfl.nu/aogr

Replies (9) Good night (1627) Bad night (693)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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(609): Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like http://tfl.nu/h698

Replies (0) Good night (942) Bad night (430)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.

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(+44): Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine. http://tfl.nu/vcvu

Replies (0) Good night (979) Bad night (387)
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(925): View more from California

So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

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(925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy

Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (747)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...

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(204): I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole... http://tfl.nu/hsw3

Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (242)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend

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(248): Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/qb9e

Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (179)

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