somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize