Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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