I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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