I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
