Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize