How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
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I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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