Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
