totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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