am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
