is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize