its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
