I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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