Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Alive.
So much puke
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
