i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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